Learning to live with ghosts

Posted in Uncategorized on June 28, 2017 by heavymetalspey

Scattered so far. Time is a vicious animal that should be respected.

I’ve been stuck on this chunk of land for months, I thought it would be easier the longer I went, To forget it all, or at least the parts that broke the worst. Everything reminded me of the river, and our boat. In the end, the boat had a thousand small holes, it’s so hard to remember where and when we collected the first. An apology for everyone, still didn’t hold water so the water still rose. I took what was left of the boat and ran it aground, too afraid to leave it until it was completely gone from the incoming tide. I had plans of taking it far, at least half as far as you deserved, we had nothing but time. In all of these, I failed you. For weeks I lived on the handful of planks that were left. clung to them as if i was lost at sea. Slowly they sunk into the earth and I was alone. I would close my eyes and see work that should have been done, when my eyes opened all I could focus on was my beaten hands covered in blood. Rebuilding is difficult, I worry that any time will never be as perfect as the first. I remember how sweet it all was, even the difficult work tasted as sweet as the dried sweat from your neck. So many memories, Goddamn the difficulty of it all. It was our boat. So fast and wild and for so long, impenetrable. I’m beginning to come to terms with the fact that no matter what, the one that made us what we are, at least the grown and well worn parts, can never be made identical. So long without repair, maybe I thought i would fix them all at once, Late in the season when the water was too dark and cold. I’ve collected parts and I’ve always kept the tools, now I need to remember the assembly of it all. Otherwise, I feel like I will surely die slowly on this island, on my knees in the mud, watching roots and weeds crawl up through my hands, pushing those old planks back up through the earth. Some things are meant to stay buried, but I love the river.


Emerson Knives

Posted in nasty nives with tags , , on October 30, 2012 by heavymetalspey



Posted in burkheimer gear, dec hoganisms, spey fishing, spey slam with tags on September 1, 2012 by heavymetalspey


This is my friend.

His name is Dec.

Dec can cast.

Real goddang far.


Burkheimer 7134

Posted in burkheimer gear, Fish Shit, shooooot, spey fishing, spey slam with tags on August 18, 2012 by heavymetalspey

A week from today I have my calendar filled with the words “River day with Dec” and I wanted to have this cannon with me. Big thanks to Chris from Burkheimer for dialing me in. If you want something made, bring a half gallon of Captain Morgans and talk it over. His work speaks for itself and the dude knows a thing or two about rod action. This 7134 is jet black, blacker than the blackest black times infinity. blackened nickle reel hardware, blackened nickle line guides and a spalted maple reel seat and some of the finest cork this side of a whiskey bottle’s prison door.. ridiculous. A bit off topic, I sometimes get the responses when I show it to someone or say something about them on the internet, the responses range from “it should be able to cast itself for that price” to “beautiful rod, I’d be afraid to walk it through the woods”. So check it out, These aren’t rods for everyone (although if everyone had an hour to cast one, that would probably change) they are expensive and they are heirloom quality. The fact is, steelhead fishing isn’t the most breakneck sport in the world, the lulls are often, which makes the highs that much higher but when you are spending so much time casting and watching the goddamn birds fly, it’s nice to look down and see that real heart and soul was put into something like this. Pride of ownership plays a role, we are a passionate group. Besides the fact that they are, in my opinion one of the nicest rods to fish and cast.

Cast a 480 scandi on it today- pretty silky.





Next Burkheimer

Posted in Uncategorized on August 2, 2012 by heavymetalspey

Stopped by burkheimer headquarters yesterday, two t-shirts were thrown directly into my face and i was instructed to try them on as they run a touch small. duely noted- the first one i tried looked like a sportsbra, Heads up.

I was then instructed to follow one of the worlds foremost rod builders to his pickup truck where a blue rod sock held something special just for me. I waited and watched while one of the most subdued and beautiful slabs of jet blacked graphite ever created slithered its way into my mitts. My hands vibrated from the power, like a thousand anxious hornets trapped inside. Thirteen feet four inches of “hand rolled soul” as the t-shirt declares. I must name this dark horse… she isn’t even in my possesion until next week..in my dreams, i see her, black and powerful, looking to party hard as hell. soon, you mythic whore…. soon.


Fat ghost blade

Posted in Uncategorized on July 6, 2012 by heavymetalspey


Cigar holders

Posted in Uncategorized on July 4, 2012 by heavymetalspey