heartbreak and headaches

i wish mirrors would stop doing their goddamn job. every one brings me closer to my truth and farther from my answer. a glance reminding the pain it resides. to hurt so bad for something or someone will bring a persons world to a halt and mans knees to the ground, yet the forgetful glance unchanged yields a still growing pain.¬† the thrashing emotions smash against my boat and i wonder why i don’t dive in, the world cold from thoughts like this. my heart is beating a million miles in time yet my soul is still as death. perhaps my time isn’t now, love eludes. pain has found a home and the bastard is late on rent. i want to sleep, but in my dreams she’s there too. i cant run from her but want to run to her. my arms and legs tired from digging this hole for my heart to lie in, my face stings from salt. surrounded my people and yet so alone. come back and stay away. my heart aches for myself, no one else is here or there. climb up and feel the warm offering, the warm friend long for a visit, but goddamnit ive dug myself up to hell.

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